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frustration
November 2009 
Magic
Posted on Aug 4th, 2009
by 
martha
martha
I thought desert landscaping would be less work, but it's MORE work, especially during the first year. This is what I get for having no relatives. Nobody hangs out and tells you these things.
There is good stuff, too, though. There are the flowers that emerge brilliantly, optimistically, and against all odds just days after being newly planted.
And then the doggone weird stuff. Before, I could just barely keep my lawn alive. NOW, because I'm watering the landscape plants, SUDDENLY--and I mean in just, like, TWO days, there's all this damn grass!
And I'm like, "Where were YOU when I needed you???"
And they're like, "We don't know, we're just the damn grass. Aren't we pretty?"
And I'm like, "No! You're NOT pretty. You grow like little green monkeys all over the place and you're rotten little guys and I just want you to GO AWAY!"
And so I go to Home Depot, and I get RoundUp, and I poison them. My mantra is "Kill, kill, kill!" I am a heartless, ruthless killing machine that sprays DEATH! I'm serious. Those feckless, amoral, stinking weeds have GOT to go!
But they stay. I find out that I haven't purchased a grass and weed killer toxic enough to do the job. Geeeeeeeeeez.
Some of the parts of the yard are like they're "supposed" to be, and some are coated with the stupid green grass that last year I would have done just about anything to foster.
Now I have to decide whether I'm willing to be an even more toxic Death Goddess. How do other people get such nice, functional landscaping? They pay someone to come and Kill Kill Kill.
The magic of nature is perverse.
There is good stuff, too, though. There are the flowers that emerge brilliantly, optimistically, and against all odds just days after being newly planted.
And then the doggone weird stuff. Before, I could just barely keep my lawn alive. NOW, because I'm watering the landscape plants, SUDDENLY--and I mean in just, like, TWO days, there's all this damn grass!
And I'm like, "Where were YOU when I needed you???"
And they're like, "We don't know, we're just the damn grass. Aren't we pretty?"
magical weeds
And I'm like, "No! You're NOT pretty. You grow like little green monkeys all over the place and you're rotten little guys and I just want you to GO AWAY!"
And so I go to Home Depot, and I get RoundUp, and I poison them. My mantra is "Kill, kill, kill!" I am a heartless, ruthless killing machine that sprays DEATH! I'm serious. Those feckless, amoral, stinking weeds have GOT to go!
But they stay. I find out that I haven't purchased a grass and weed killer toxic enough to do the job. Geeeeeeeeeez.
Some areas behave
Some of the parts of the yard are like they're "supposed" to be, and some are coated with the stupid green grass that last year I would have done just about anything to foster.
Now I have to decide whether I'm willing to be an even more toxic Death Goddess. How do other people get such nice, functional landscaping? They pay someone to come and Kill Kill Kill.
The magic of nature is perverse.
Access: Public
lol! that was a fun read.. the war on weeds is a tough affair, but in honor of landscaping, sacrifices must be made.. take no prisoners, toxic death goddess ;-)
Oh I know what you mean. It's so hard to landscape…or in our case, garden. To pull the weeds up by the roots? Or let them take over the garden and choke out the “real” plants? So hard, so hard. I feel your pain.
At least you aren't quivering in fear inside your house as the weeds take over! :) You could do like Amber and I are doing and cover the messy stuff with cardboard (like that's really attractive) and suffocate them!
Go forth and eliminate, death goddess. RRrrrrrrrr.
try smoking some of it….
Maze, it's crab grass! It works only on linguine with marinara.