When was the last time you behaved out of character?

I did some of that today!  I've been letting go and allowing my behavior to ease up and chill out.  Normally I obsessively overwork everything.  I think of every little possible thing that could go wrong and make sure that it won't.  I worry everything into place and plan ahead and line up the ducks and take their names. 

You ought to see my classes' syllabi for the coming semester.  We're talking 14 or 15 pages of well documented and planned perfection.  Not only is every required policy stated, but every assignment and activity for every DAY is already planned.  Really.  Of course, in reality, sometimes there's a little spill-over from one day to the next, as some days we don't get to everything (there are lots of interactive discussions, games and experiential activities).  But in general, Patton could march his armies to the directions in my syllabi.  And I think I'll keep them that way.

A while back, I was watching myself behaving in these ways and decided that it just takes too much energy.  What would happen if I didn't put so much energy into what I'm doing?  I'm well aware that other people, including other competent and successful people, simply don't set up everything in life as carefully as I do.

So today I was in charge of getting the faculty together for lunch at a buffet restaurant.  Ten of us made it to the restaurant, which turned out to be crowded.  "Did you make reservations?" asked a colleague.  "No," I answered, feeling guilty.  ----'Oh why (!) did I experiment with this "ease up" thing?  I should have called ahead!  I knew it!'-----   This is what was running through my head.  Then I thought, ----'Martha, don't be silly.  Nobody calls ahead for reservations to a buffet!  --except you.  You would try, and you would feel guilty that you didn't.  But for the sake of argument, let's say they can't seat us.  Will the world end?  Probably not.  Will your coworkers be challenged to think of something else to do?  Yes!  They would!  Would that be funny to watch?  Yes!  It really would!  Would you like that?  Be honest!  YES!!!  You would really like to see the look on a couple of faces, wouldn't you?  Admit it!  See?  So you really don't care so much, you are simply driven by your little habits aren't you?  Yes.  OK, now chill out!'----    And so, I did chill out.  We were seated within five minutes, and we had a lovely lunch.