Nervous.  We're getting ready to drive down from Seattle to pick up Apple at the Portland airport in the Fleetwood Tioga.  Hmm.  It's BIG!  Hmm.  Lots of things to check and adjust.  Hmm.  We will be late.  Oh well.  What will be is what will be.  Hmm.  These are the times to put the LOVE into action, to create the world we want to live in.  I'm creating my nervousness.  Why?  I suppose because I want everything to be "perfect" and to live up to "what people expect."  Hmm.  Again, life offers a lesson in openness, peacefulness and optimism.  Thank you for the lesson.  And after all, it DID stop raining cats and dogs, and now the SUN is out!  It is beautiful!  It's the waiting.  That's what it is.  Oh well, it is what it is.  God, this is starting to be like one of those blogs Maze writes where it's just stream of consciousness.  The stream that always comes to mind is located in the Sierra Nevada range of California about 7,000 ft. on Ebbetts Pass Hwy. 4.  The beautiful stream I played in as a child in the summer.  When I could be there.  Rules.  Restrictions.  Let the FUN begin!!!  I'm an adult now, and I order the FUN!  Let there be FUN!  If you're going to be a poo-head, then go put your head in the toilet.  Pronto.  And reach up and flush!  Yeah, you're right, Maze.  Uncensored is better.  Aley and Keith are getting a tire fixed.  Better to fix it than to have a blowout.  I'm scared of blowouts in big vehicles.  No want to go there.  NO fun!   Of course, it won't be fun for Apple if she must wait for us at the airport, but it could be worse.  She is, of course, in her chair, and it's a manual chair and she can't move it herself.  That's the only thing.  But she is SO charming.  She could charm the devil out of his car keys.  So you see, there's really nothing to worry about.  How long am I going to sit here and type this stuff?  Hmm.  Maybe I should just go to Google Images and find a picture.  Love you all very much!

Back from Florence, Oregon---the Gaia meetup August 1-5.  Well, not back exactly.  I'm with Aley and Keith at their house.  Honestly, there is no way to tell you about the meetup in a blog.  It was magical!    Dear friend, if you weren't there, and you wanted to be there, you will be there with everyone.  Simply stated, we met and felt our presence with one another as a like-minded and open-hearted group.  Recognizing each other, we melted into hugs and laughter and delight.  Perhaps a little awkward at first (like the first 30 seconds) the uncertainty is quickly forgotten as the crazy known-yet-unknown and accepted-cherished-surprised-overwhelmed emotional dynamic unfolds.  To look into each other's eyes and share the same space and hear the voices and even HUG them!!!  ....Do you see, dear ones, why it's so hard to talk about?  There are tears in my eyes now as I write. 

So it's going to take a long time (I'd say for me, I"m looking at weeks, maybe longer) to unpack what's happening to me / us / them / life / the planet   as we connect.  I'm thinking now that you might be wondering why I'm making such a big deal out of it.  You might ask how any of us getting together might impact "life" or "the planet."  But I really feel something.  Did you know that we met during the energy of the new moon, at a time when new energy is coming into its own?  There are certain potentialities, in terms of ideas, opportunities, connections, coincidences that are set into motion from the convergence of so many people of new earth vision and deeply kind heart.  This meetup has deeply touched us in ways that we know and that we cannot know.  The picture above is of a collage that we made together.  Like this blog, it is only a glimpse, a suggestion of some colors, and parts of the larger words and ideas.  We'll understand the rest in time.

Ah, the wonderful sport of Women's Sabre!  Coolness or what?  The video is interesting, and gives lots of history and context.  I recommend about 3 1/2 minutes, perhaps. 

I love the sword imagery on my pirate icon that Dryad made for me  -Thank you, Dryad!, I promise to try hard to live up to it!-  because for me it's all about discernment.  You know, staying in the present and not identifying with stuff and getting way into judgment.  To sharply discern what's good and what's low energy, and then to simply change course or respond appropriately.  Sword is a mental energy.  Swordplay is beautiful.  The video is about women who swordplay with sabres.  Yeah!  :)

It took me an hour, at least, to find an image for this blog.  During that time, I found this phrase on a couple of very different web pages, the precise identity of which are lost to me, and I don't think the folks would mind if I quoted them about this subject of healing the world.

This blog is to share a bit, as (if) I can, of our four days together in the Magical Gaia Meetup in Oregon.  The phrase above is very close to the heart of it.

I think I discovered that one of the first things that happens when light workers get together is that we begin to help each other heal.  What does that mean?  Well, it could be about anything.  A physical issue, an emotional issue, whatever.  We do this by listening to one another with our whole attention and our whole heart.  We help one another to be present, or to bring up the past, or to vision into the future.  We are time travelers.  It's like the dance of the loving time travelers.  We stay aware of what's going on with us, and what we are doing.

Not in terms of "Oh, I'm being aware right now, I am , I am."  You know what has been said about when we think "I am."  It's great as far as it goes, and it's also the fundamental assertion of the ego.  There's always a dimension beyond this, or deeper than this.  And so we are also just deeply present. 



We start to heal one another, and we are also healing the planet.  It is all a piece, all one fabric, all one beautiful human/environment integrity. 

People can live this way for four days.  I don't know if people lived this way longer what would happen. 

We shared an awareness of the "down to earth" aspect of our presence being important. 

To indulge in a dash a negativity here (like a dash of pepper in a stew), we are not creating a commune, or a faith community, or anything that is already known, except caring, authentic community, committed to safe and loving space, safe and loving actions, healing ourselves and the planet. 

We used laughter---lots of laughter!  I hadn't laughed so much in years!  We used story, listening, light, beauty, art, music, dance, gentle touch, tears for cleansing, writing, nature, clean air, energy, and I'm sure many other things that I have forgotten. 

I know one thing for sure now.  People are supposed to live like this, more than they are supposed to live in violence, fear and sadness.  We have the power to heal ourselves and to heal the planet. 

What makes me a good traveler is that I LOVE to travel! 

It's the road that makes me a good traveler! 

I love the road, the open space inviting me to put my feet

and again, and again!

The sunlight,

roadsides

the little stores and the complex city sidewalks/drains/curbs/buildings/pipes/signs/stink

and the open spaces

six inch grass, tall grasses, green grasses!

Oh those silly Italians!  Yet another walkout by the political parties in charge

and nobody cutting the grasses in the parks, a political statement!  Whoa!

Well, the meaning was lost on me, but not the salami (but SO MUCH better than

salami) and cheese (but SO MUCH better than cheese) sandwich,

and the children, the sunshine, the bus.

There's public transportation.  Sitting by hundreds, and hundreds of strangers! 

Peter met me just once on the train.  Then he had to go home.  But he said he would

dream about me.  And I believed him.  I've never forgotten him.

He's probably a fat, middle-aged man right now. 

But the road goes on and on

and on and on and on!!!   .....     JOY!!!  

Exercise!  The same repetitive crap that is such a bore to do alone is something that I enjoy if I'm in a room full of people also doing that same thing.  Strange, huh?  :)

For me it's easier to ask what is available to us in our society, rather than what is missing.  And of course, we are now in a post (or post-post) modern society.

The essential elements of modernity:  positivism (we can take positive action to create a better life for ourselves), industrialization (using machines to multiply human labor), bureaucratization (hierarchical and function-based social organization), urbanization (mass movement from rural to urban living), mass public health/ education/ media/ transportation/ aggression, falling away of traditions and traditional moralities, anomie, alienation.

Basically, we are a world in crisis.  We are experiencing a global transition from traditional and communal societies--what Durkheim called "mechanical solidarity" - society held together by the glue of family relationships and traditional roles and responsibilities--  to modern and postmodern societies that function on what Durkheim called "organic solidarity," which means that the glue that holds society together is the needs people have and how people can assume roles to fill the needs of others as well as themselves.  The roles people can have are now determined by a piece of paper like a certificate, license or diploma, and not by your family and everyone knowing you. 

What we NEED is a way to create a common good and cherishing of one another within this new ever-shifting social sand.   --Which is why I'm focused on what we DO have available to us, because that is what we will have to use to create a way to live together with kindness, justice and a sense of common humanity.

I live in the Phoenix metropolitan area, which is located in south-ish central Arizona.


Arizona supports about 6 million people, about 4 million of whom live with me in the Phoenix metropolitan area.  That city picture up there?  That's me, way up toward the top right, and also about 3,999,999 of my closest acquaintances. 

Arizona is a very dry place.  There are no natural lakes in Arizona, and few rivers.  The resemblance between Ari - zona and "Arid" "Zone" is no coincidence---it was named that by some European conquistadores who stumbled through in the 1500s. 

Coincidentally, just as I was writing this, Mike called me out to the porch because it's raining.  We get most of our rains in the summer here.  They're called monsoons.  They can get spectacular, with huge thunderous clouds, lethal lightening strikes, and giant raindrops, or even gumball-sized hail.  So weird to see the ground ever so briefly covered with a white Christmas theme on your average 104 degree day.

Here's what the sky looked like when it was raining:

Sorry it's a little blurry, but I'd need a tripod to get the clouds better.  That's the moon, and the moon made the clouds look apricot-colored.  It's 11:00 at night. 

Arizona is a beautiful place, but I feel guilty about being here.  6 million people here is no way sustainable.  I think we should be thinking about ways to live here, or not live here, that could be sustainable.  But I live here because the people that I love are here.  That's the best thing about where I live.  It's enough to weigh in heavier than my guilt.  And so it goes.  If everyone thought as I do, we'd be heading for an ecological crisis!  That's how it goes.

Dumb luck. 

My first reaction-- Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh?  There's time for a second reaction?  Quickly, I said dear goodbyes to everyone.  Dad (already passed on, but goodbye to him anyway), Mom, Jimmy (already moved on, but goodbye to him anyway) and Mary.

The car was flipping end over end, not sideways, but front to back.  Or back to front.  Whatever.   The momentum must have been dreadful.  And the direction was at about 90 degrees perpendicular to the flow of traffic on the freeway. 

There was whiteness--white, white like the computer screen.  And blackness--black, black like the color of the letters on the screen.  And then white,   black,   white,   black.  End over end.  Smash.  Smash.  Smash. Smash. Smash.  Nobody will ever know how many smashes. 

Actually, it turned out my neck was broken, but I lived.  And I was blind, too, just at first.  It's a long story.  Of course, there are no words to tell you how grateful I am that I got out of that one, and that I didn't hurt anyone else!   The emergency doctor they called off the golf course for this was an obstetrician.  He used ultrafine thread to sew up my face--the kind of thread they use for women who have cesareans and want to be sure not to have a scar.  That's what he told me, besides telling me that I'm a lucky girl.  By then, I could see again.   I was 18.

When I was a kid, I figured I was doing well if I had a new toy.

When I got a little older, it was popularity that I sought.

As a teenager, I just wanted to be "the smartest one."

And then later, that developed into a full-out lust to be "best" at whatever I did,

Which matured into a desire to change the world.

And then I had kids, so I wanted the best for my family.

Watching the generations move forward, and the excitement of youth shift from we, the parents, to our children, I slowly realized that nobody acting alone changes the world.  Life was probably about something else.  But what?

Perhaps knowledge offered the ultimate riches, so I enrolled in a Ph.D. program.  Later, I thought, "Nobody cares about this nonsense!"  What matters is what happens to our children, how we learn, and what we can bring into our lives to make them better.  Not knowledge, but wisdom.

And then I began to realize that life is not about how much you own, or how many relationships you have, or how dynamic your career, or how much you are esteemed, but about how much you are capable of loving.

However, throughout my life, one thing has remained uncompromisingly true.  There's nothing as wonderful as a really good book!

Maybe it's that I've been thinking about "how the world is" and thinking about the pain, suffering, greed, hatred, ignorance oh my god!!!      It's important to know that the world has all that going on, but it doesn't help to focus on the execrable things without thinking about ways to help by bringing love and light into the world. 

The world IS created from love and light.  Anything else is temporary, and will be cared for and fixed in time.  In time.  In the world of time.  My awesome friend Brian, the nuclear physicist guy whose site is always linked on my profile page, has this whole explanation of how everything gets fixed through love, which is through Christ(=love).  There's even a word for it--it's been a few years since we've talked about it, but I think the word he uses is "abrogate."  That love will cleanse all suffering and make it as if it had never happened.  He's sure of that.  And he's sure that the ancient Hebrews were on to something when they said that at the end of the world the very skies will fold away like a tapestry, like a cloak.  He says all this is in agreement with his understanding of physics.  And it totally mystifies me.  One of my life goals is to understand even the tiniest piece of it.  But I've really gotten off the subject, haven't I? 

We used to write that silly verse to each other in year books.  We thought it was so funny.  Personally, I knew I would never get "old and out of shape."  That was for people who somehow allowed it to happen to them, probably due to some lapse of character, or some inescapable set of unfortunate circumstances that I, as the cleverly optimistic creature that I was, would surely be able to avoid in my own life.

Remember those girdles (now, I believe, called "bottomless girdles") that had no panty-part, and had the garters attached?  I never wanted to actually wear one myself, because it squeezes your thighs together, skin on skin.  It just never looked very comfortable, especially on a hot day.  But lucky my generation!  Pantyhose, and for those who still wanted to wear them, panty-girdles were invented!  

Well, I'm now at an age where I...  might...  need a little assistance in the "looking svelte" department.  ....Eh, but no.  I think I'll just wear my pants!  :)

I did some of that today!  I've been letting go and allowing my behavior to ease up and chill out.  Normally I obsessively overwork everything.  I think of every little possible thing that could go wrong and make sure that it won't.  I worry everything into place and plan ahead and line up the ducks and take their names. 

You ought to see my classes' syllabi for the coming semester.  We're talking 14 or 15 pages of well documented and planned perfection.  Not only is every required policy stated, but every assignment and activity for every DAY is already planned.  Really.  Of course, in reality, sometimes there's a little spill-over from one day to the next, as some days we don't get to everything (there are lots of interactive discussions, games and experiential activities).  But in general, Patton could march his armies to the directions in my syllabi.  And I think I'll keep them that way.

A while back, I was watching myself behaving in these ways and decided that it just takes too much energy.  What would happen if I didn't put so much energy into what I'm doing?  I'm well aware that other people, including other competent and successful people, simply don't set up everything in life as carefully as I do.

So today I was in charge of getting the faculty together for lunch at a buffet restaurant.  Ten of us made it to the restaurant, which turned out to be crowded.  "Did you make reservations?" asked a colleague.  "No," I answered, feeling guilty.  ----'Oh why (!) did I experiment with this "ease up" thing?  I should have called ahead!  I knew it!'-----   This is what was running through my head.  Then I thought, ----'Martha, don't be silly.  Nobody calls ahead for reservations to a buffet!  --except you.  You would try, and you would feel guilty that you didn't.  But for the sake of argument, let's say they can't seat us.  Will the world end?  Probably not.  Will your coworkers be challenged to think of something else to do?  Yes!  They would!  Would that be funny to watch?  Yes!  It really would!  Would you like that?  Be honest!  YES!!!  You would really like to see the look on a couple of faces, wouldn't you?  Admit it!  See?  So you really don't care so much, you are simply driven by your little habits aren't you?  Yes.  OK, now chill out!'----    And so, I did chill out.  We were seated within five minutes, and we had a lovely lunch. 

OK, weird how there IS no Q&R question today. 

I've had requests for a blog about Danita, and I wasn't going to do it, but could there be a clearer sign than this?  I guess my Q&R "Q" of today is:  Write about Danita. 

It's difficult to write about your beloved friend, because you want to share the stuff that makes your experiences with that person so cool, but you don't want to break any confidences or say anything too personal, so how can I write this?

Danita, you see, is a radiant warrior of the Heart, and a shining Star.  She is my true sister from another mother.  She once told me that I can be "mousy," and it's true.  She's really annoying, and she's also absolutely right when she observes things.  She is a rehabilitative psychologist.  She helps people with severe physical or psychological setbacks to find new ways to live and thrive and create a good life for themselves.  She is also a psychology teacher in the community colleges and my beloved colleague.  She is a brilliant teacher----a kickass teacher with a huge heart, tremendously smart, wise, compassionate.

She loves chocolate, videos, going to movies, traveling, the ocean, Jesus, Elvis, her children and her dad and her stepmom, Eglee, who is a super-cool lady in her own right, and her brother Christopher, and her beautiful grandchildren.  She loves to play guitar and sing, and we like to sing together.  We like Carole King.  She taught me how to create this great incense-type room deodorizer by sprinkling a little cinnamon on a hot stove burner and letting it smoke.  Give it a try!

About three years ago she and her dad were bringing some pizza and chicken to a student end-of-the-year party on the last day of school at one of our local community colleges.  A car, driven by a drunk and high woman, ran a red light and T-boned their car on the passenger side.  Her dad had been driving and she was the passenger.  They had to remove her with that "jaws of life" thing.  The woman had no insurance, and she disappeared into the mists of the cracks where people with unaddressed pain and deep issues slip into, in our society, and nobody has seen or heard from her since.  Danita says that she would just like to get the woman to apologize to her some day. 

Now, three years later, she is still dealing with back issues, and with all the things that can be impacted by back issues.  Who knew?  I won't get into the details, but you'd be surprised.  The back can affect all your internal organs.  Anything it wants to.  It's not the ecological trigger point of your body that you'd want to mess with. 

But that's not the major thing about Danita.   She is all about her work.  In addition to the above information, she has her own nonprofit organization, called Whiteapple Institute.  The goal of Whiteapple Institute is to make sure that every person in the world, every child in the world, gets an education and the opportunity to earn their own livelihood with dignity and fairness.  For example, in some countries if a person has a physical disability, that person is condemned to a life of begging on the streets, and would never have a chance to learn to read or anything like that.  Danita works with groups around the world to give opportunities to children who wouldn't have them, to learn to support themselves.  She is sort of a "rehabilitative psychologist to the world," as well as a clear and insistent voice for human rights.

And that's Danita.  Apple.  In a nutshell.  Please send her Love and Light as she battles her infections.      Now WHEN she gets them under control,   THEN  she will get to have an operation to stabilize her back, so that she can get her life back.  Please help her out with that, too.  OK?   Thank you deeply from my heart.  And Danita thanks you for your friendship.

I'm posting this blog as a Q&R because what is bringing me joy at this moment is the absolute assurance that we are not alone, that we are indeed connected.  I want to share this story with as many as possible.  Our healing network of Love and Light at Gaia is real.  I posted the story below on my profile, because a Gaia member named Danita Apple has been ill, and was in a critical situation at Mayo Clinic yesterday.  Many have been holding her in Love and Light and sending her good wishes and healing energies.  Danita was not particularly aware of these activities because she was quite ill, and we didn't discuss Gaia much before she went into the hospital, and she doesn't remember very much of Saturday anyway.  Here is a true story of Gaian healing energy:

With my friend Elizabeth, I visited sweet Danita Apple in Mayo Clinic Hospital today.  Danita is a LOT better!  She is talking normally and totally in charge.  I mentioned to her that several Gaians had been sending her Love and Light, and this is what she said:

“It's interesting that you say that!  Let me tell you what happened yesterday.  There was, like a mist around my bed.  Like a fog, really.  Not a dark fog or anything, but a light mist.  And I could hear drumming, like from a frame drum.  And I thought, 'That's strange!  Where is this drumming coming from?' and I could feel people with me.  Like a group, and they were kind of like dancing, or just being there with me and moving, you know, like to the drums.  It wasn't like I was dead or anything.  It was actually pleasant!  But I could feel people with me.  I could hear the drum!” 

“Danita,” I said, “Lisa Morningstar was drumming her meditation on a frame drum!” 

We got chills. 

Open my eyes, check the time.  If it's before 7 a.m., sometimes I'll think, "Tragic."  Other times I'll let it go.  Oh well.  Find my slippers, let the dogs and cats out.  Grind coffee beans, make coffee.  While coffee brews, go to driveway to find newspaper.  If newspaper is under a vehicle, which it is about half the time, I get down on my hands and knees and reach way under the car to get it.  Then I wonder why the paper "boy" keeps asking me for a "tip."  Oh well.  Then I think, "It's a beautiful morning, really.  Stop and enjoy it."  So, I look around.  The trees, the sky, sun, breezes.  There's a park just right over there, and then eveyone's front yard.  There's the tall pine tree across the street.  This morning there were four or five hummingbirds in our mulberry tree.  They were making a lot of noise, saying Chit!  Chit!  Chit!  Chit!  I really didn't know they could make that much noise.  Wow! 

I go back inside and put the newspaper on the kitchen table and make a bowl of Naturally Preferred Organic Healthy O's with blueberries and soy milk.  By this time the coffee is done, or almost done, so I make a cup of coffee light with Splenda.  Then it's time to eat the cereal, drink the coffee and read the paper.  Because the majority of people in my state are of the opposite political persuasion from me, and because our President is, too, and because I know a lot of stuff in general, I get Really, Really, Really upset half the time when I read the paper.  Arg!  (little pirate thoughts).  So then it's time to ask myself whether it really helps to get upset.  I think about how I can put my values in action today to make a difference.  I think about how our Governor doesn't get upset with idiots, no matter how inane and reckless their ideas and accusations are.  I renew my vows to Be the Change and let go of my negativity (the renewal usually lasts me at least until the next morning).  I put my dishes into the sink knowing that I want to go to work, or be with my family, and do a good job.  I let the dogs back in.  I go to tell Mike how the dogs and cats are.  

Breakfast is my favorite meal.  I love how simple it is.  I love how my mornings are always the same.

Some people say that they've never met a stranger,
or that a stranger is a friend they haven't met yet.

Usually, I'm open to people I'm meeting right now. 
Openness, receptiveness, joy
like tuning into their channel, their groove
are they tuning into mine?

So what about somebody who's been a friend for years?
Cousin, spouse, your own child.
Could this person be brand new?

Not like "I'll pretend I don't know that you don't like mustard on your dogs,"
but to really open up to that person?
See who they've become
in the last 27 years.

Hi, who are you?

Do you know me?

The stranger in the old friend; now what do we do?
And if I fall for you again,
Does this "love" put me to sleep,
Depending on you to be "you"
and me to be "me"?

And if I don't fall for you?
Can I keep loving who you used to be?
the way I used to, when I used to be
Who I used to be?