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July 2009 
What keeps you peaceful?
Posted on Nov 9th, 2008
by 
martha
martha
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for November 09, 2008:
It's paradoxical to me that peace is dynamic, yet one can be filled with it and peace-full. I guess peacefulness as I experience it is a state of awareness, and it's based in balance and acceptance.
Nothing can "keep" me peaceful, though. It's a state that can be accepted and embraced and appreciated with gratitude minute by minute, second by second, in the now. Peace is agenda-less. BUT it emerges in my life when I have taken--I guess Buddhists would call it "right action."
A dear friend of mine today spent about a half hour working with people who work in her organization, getting them to deal with their feelings of jealousy and powerlessness. She listened over and over as they blamed each other and attempted to take control. Each time they tried their strategies to help themselves feel more powerful and in control, she would stop them gently and ask them again, "What were you originally asked to do?" "Is this thing that you are planning to do going to help you achieve what you were asked to do?" "How could you change your plan so that you can achieve what you were asked to do?" She said this over and over, going through 4 or 5 cycles with them, with no rancor, no judgment, only patience and support. In the end, they were unwilling to abandon their control-seeking strategies, so she asked them to think about it and call her tomorrow. She told them that they could show their love for her by calling her tomorrow.
To me, this is real peacefulness. She was never angry or irritated. She helped them work toward the highest outcome that they were capable of, and their welfare was always more important than the task to be done. I think this person's response to the situation of the feuding coworkers is an example of "right action," and as I watched, I felt at peace, and she did also.
(image from www.photowallpaper.com)
Nothing can "keep" me peaceful, though. It's a state that can be accepted and embraced and appreciated with gratitude minute by minute, second by second, in the now. Peace is agenda-less. BUT it emerges in my life when I have taken--I guess Buddhists would call it "right action."
A dear friend of mine today spent about a half hour working with people who work in her organization, getting them to deal with their feelings of jealousy and powerlessness. She listened over and over as they blamed each other and attempted to take control. Each time they tried their strategies to help themselves feel more powerful and in control, she would stop them gently and ask them again, "What were you originally asked to do?" "Is this thing that you are planning to do going to help you achieve what you were asked to do?" "How could you change your plan so that you can achieve what you were asked to do?" She said this over and over, going through 4 or 5 cycles with them, with no rancor, no judgment, only patience and support. In the end, they were unwilling to abandon their control-seeking strategies, so she asked them to think about it and call her tomorrow. She told them that they could show their love for her by calling her tomorrow.
To me, this is real peacefulness. She was never angry or irritated. She helped them work toward the highest outcome that they were capable of, and their welfare was always more important than the task to be done. I think this person's response to the situation of the feuding coworkers is an example of "right action," and as I watched, I felt at peace, and she did also.
(image from www.photowallpaper.com)
Access: Public
*****
Beautiful photo! Seems to really capture what you wrote. This thing of peace is very hard to capture in words, but you gave a great example of staying peaceful in the situation with the co-workers. It's the work setting where I'm most likely to be pulled into the fray – if not by getting my dander up – at least by commiserating with those whose dander is up. A never ending training ground is what it is!!! :)
so you were feeling the same right action she was and I'm sitting here thinking fuck, shove the right thinking up your ass I want to be angry and happy and then I said no no no no no and then yesyesyesyesyes full circlely.
Hi Starlight, I love your little peaceful stars.
Hey there Judi, {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} to you and Amber! Yes! a “never ending training ground” it is. And I am grateful!
Hi Maze. I don't go in for much in the way of anal anything. So if I were to shove it, or encourage one of the coworkers to shove it, I think I would naturally go in a different direction with it. But then again, this just illustrates the dynamic nature of such encounters. So very many choices to be made. Thanks for choosing to come by here today, bro. I'm sending you my brightest smile. That's for the happy part that comes after the angry part.
this brings up the “peace keepers” dilemma, and maybe an explanation for why the UN doesn't seem to make as much impact as we would like to see. if peace is not something that can be kept, and is so personal, how can we expect a governmental agency to manage it? I know I find it challenging enough to find those moments of peace inside myself. (kinda tend to lean towards maze, though I'd agree with you on the anti anal part, heh heh)
great post, martha!
Hi Janet, more about “light holders” than “peace keepers”? Or is that the same thing, but with a slightly different view on the process…? Anyway, good night dear, my tiny eyes are closing, and my tiny brain is already closed…