The appearance of the numinous

Opening the front door, I was leaving for work.  Morning sun, morning air.  It wasn't that I thought to look down, exactly.  It was just that I couldn't miss it.  On the doormat, in the center, perfectly sculpted, elegant, and unmoving: a feather.  White, with calligraphically precise pin stripes, about five inches long, curled back upon itself.  Near the base, its tendrils were wispy.  Toward the tip, all was symmetry.

I held this nonsequitor in my fingers and examined it, my rush now forgotten.  I had never seen a feather like this before.  Why was it here?  I took it with me.

At work, I aksed a trusted woman friend, "Have you ever seen a feather like this?"

"It's an owl feather!" she answered.  "This is something special for you!  What have you been up to?"

Busted! 

There it was!  I was busted by the Universe, and hadn't even known it!  How can I tell you about the convergence of thought, activity and learning that collided in the perfect meaning of that feather?  These were my doctoral years, the very beginnings--1989/1990.  At this time I was just beginning to explore Native American belief systems, dialectical thinking, feminist philosophies, and starting to build a personal spiritual path.  The night before I had been reading about Canada, about the past and present and consciousness, about shamanism and prayer, about shields, about devotion. 

I live in Tempe, Arizona, and to my knowledge, we don't have barn owls.  At least, in the long-ago developed first suburbs of the city, where I live on a quiet street, I'm pretty sure we don't have them.

So I came to believe that the feather was a sign--an absolutely lovely encouragement.

The root of "encouragement" is the heart: cour, in French.  To encourage is to strengthen the heart.  Would I be brave enough to step into a way of living that was deeper and more loving than the compliant and accomplished life I had managed until that time? 

This wasn't merely about a decision to learn more about any traditions or paths.  This was about developing my ability to recognize and accept the numinous--that which is created of The Holy Spirit, and is of Spirit in Nature, as it occurs in the ordinariness of daily life.  This was about developing the ability to see, and to be brave enough to hold something Holy.  This was an affirmation from God, encouraging me to live my life within both sacred and mundane dimensions. 

This is the discovery I would most wish for anyone: an encounter with a personal, deeply meaningful, unexplainable, heart-calling, utterly beautiful, wild and undefined moment of Divine Connection from which there can be no turning back.