Holiday Windows: What I did during my Thanksgiving Break

My background is a little wierd.  That's not any big deal.  Most of us have a wierd background, a difficult past, missing information, nonstandard bio, etc.  That's life.  And those few who actually did grow up in the suburbs with a little brother, two parents, and a dog, and have a kindly family and normal holiday dinners where nobody ends up as a human missle exploding the musical fault lines encoded in the rigid expanse of the front window--well, they usually offer me some sort of explanation--almost an apology:  "I just had a normal life, nothing strange." 

But oddly, when in the course of a November day's chit-chat, I'm asked to give an account of my "holiday plans," I feel blind-sided.  Why didn't I see that coming?  Why did I not prepare some type of answer?  I know, for example, that I will long for a Reece's Peanut Butter Cup at the grocery check-out stand.  I can be ready for this.  I can give myself 'Pre-recorded silent lecturette #15: Avoiding Heart Attack City.'  The lecture works about 94% of the time, and life goes on.  And I also know about the sinking feeling that will settle in my chest when I realize someone has asked me if I "have any plans for the holidays"  Unless I make up some good-sounding stuff ahead of time, there will be nothing in my brain's speech/logic center to help me offer information in response to this question.  I've found that "Nope" won't work.  "Nope" and a smile--a really sweet and very sincere smile--would be my authentic response.  If I DO say "No," then I feel expected to elaborate.  Well, why not?  Is someone sick? 

Which brings me to the subject of Joy Bringer's pod.  I read about how Darina (now also assisted by Herbie) are working to bring more Joy into daily life.  They remind us that Joy isn't in things, it's in us!  And that's what I'm trying to say!  

Like today at the hairdresser's:  I was sitting in the chair with stuff on my hair, and there was this unbelievably beautiful sunlight coming in through the windows!  And there were three windows!  Tears come to my eyes even now--it's been about 5 hours since.  You know, there is just something so beautiful about sunlight, about the daytime, about it being day, about having a day--a wonderful day to walk the earth as a human being--just doing things, responding to things...  ok, even to questions about what I plan to do for the holidays.

Would people understand if I said that I just want to be?  That I'm happy to be with our little family--my husband and our two children, our two dogs and two cats?  That I do have some vague plans to make some good food and enjoy it with them, but that we'll decide what we want to have for dinner when we go to the store?  Would they understand, basically, we won't do anything special at all because we enjoy our lives together every day so much that we just want to enjoy life together?  Wouldn't that sound absolutely strange?  And inappropriate?  And even a little disrespectful, as if somehow, by saying that, I would be implying that others aren't enjoying life as much as they could be? 

So I stumble through.  I say something like, "No, we really don't have any particular plans--we'll probably just be together as a family and enjoy a good dinner.  How about you?" 

This Thanksgiving, throughout the Holiday Season, and actually every beautiful day, I wish everyone happiness and love.  I wish you health and hope, courage, and time to reflect.  I wish you moonlight and sunlight, and I wish that your body will move when you want it to, the way that you want it to.  Oh! I wish you beauty!  I am so thankful that you are in the world.  Without you, this world would be incomplete.  Please sing, please smile, please use your mind for me, and I will do likewise for you! 

My plans for the holidays are to share the world with you, and to give thanks sincerely, and from the deepest reaches of my heart.